Rantglass - because that's how things are.

Changing changes.

Damn. It does not come easy to me these days. Often enough, a quick mathematical calculation is required – and then I cringe at the numerical answer provided before me. Some days I accept it better, a number I know I can swiftly banish to the recycle bin of my mind, to be rehashed on another hopeless navel-gazing episode; other days, I feel like I am walking knowingly into infinite nothingness, to a place where time ultimately stops and never picks up again.

Growing old is not fun. There did not seem to be an in-between: when we were young and tired of our studies, we harboured hopes of getting our lives fast-forwarded; yet when we are saddled with the trials and worries of adult life, we would long for the relatively fun and carefree days of our youth.

No one dreams of being 25. Now, it makes me feel in limbo, neither here nor there. Yet when the next year comes around, it will feel like taking one gigantic step into the vast unknown and being tossed into a whole new category of its own.

I go to bed tonight listening to the unceasing pitter patter of raindrops on the roof, wondering if we can ever be ready for this.

Details of this entry.Monday, October 20, 2008, filed under Musings.
This entry is open to comments.
Recent tracks played are displayed on Last.fm.Demons, The Dears

  1. Hey, I feel the same way. Reaching a quarter of century is like arriving at a cliff next to a dark, yawning, bottomless abyss of ‘adulthood’. I mean, we officially turned adults at the stroke of 21 but then again, we could still cut ourselves some slack at this ‘just graduated’ adult stage. But 26? That’s when we really take the plunge into the abyss, or someone, something will just push us over. It’s scary! Falling deeper… deeper into the murky gravity of adult responsibilities and exponential aging. The longer we live, the further and the more imperceptible the bottom is.

    ShomT | 03/11/08 07:21 AM

  2. ShomT – I don’t know why it feels strange to me, the idea of being older than 25 – as though I am not ready for it. Probably because the next most defining number would be… 30? Argh.

    Strizzt | 03/11/08 08:43 AM

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