Rantglass - because that's how things are.

So let me follow through.

I think photocopy machines are many a workplace’s greatest mysteries.

Which button should I press to produce double-sided pages? It says here 1+1 is… one. Huh?

What if the original copy was only printed on one side? Oh, just slide it in like that? Hmm, okay.

How can I make it print ten copies? Just press the numbers one and zero, then the ‘start’ button, eh? No?

Which bloody tray should be refilled when it runs out of paper? It says ‘Tray 3’; but I do not know which is which.

What if I want it to print onto another piece of paper? This button? Oops, that one.

How do I magnify the contents on the paper itself? Should I slide the original copy into the second or third plate? What, you mean there’s a fifth plate at the back? How do I rotate and make it print this way? What’s that ‘hand’ icon doing there?

Press, press, press.

The machine gives a protesting hum, but jumps to life, then does… absolutely nothing. “Warming up,” it says on the LCD screen.

Whirr, whirr, whirr.

Nooooooo! The printed copies are coming out all wrong! Make it stop!

Press on the ‘interrupt’ button. I demand you to stop right now!

Press, press, press. Beeeep.

Uh oh. Well, looks like I have to stuff all these papers into the box with the words ‘recycled paper’ on it. No one is looking now, right? Man, I think I have just chopped another tree off the planet.

Clearly, I have not gotten acquainted with this complicated piece of machine yet.

On another note, I very much look forward to Sufjan Stevens’ remaining 48 albums.

On air now: The Fallen, Franz Ferdinand

Details of this entry.Sunday, November 13, 2005, filed under Musings.
This entry is open to comments.
Recent tracks played are displayed on Last.fm.,

  1. ah, a sufjan convert. bless you sister.

    btw, photocopy machines are where engineering degrees come in useful. how abotu that for 60k bucks.
    soporific | 13/11/05 09:50 PM

  2. I haven’t figured out how to photocopy both sides of the paper in one go on my office’s fotokopi machine either, even though people have taught me how to do it before…... sigh…
    eyeris | 14/11/05 10:56 AM

  3. Soporific – Nah, not quite a convert yet… although I must admit that I am certainly intrigued enough to hear what he can do with the remaining 48 states.

    Eyeris – Yeah, probably because we don’t use it often enough. These machines now have so many functions and buttons, and is such a far cry from back then – when all you need to do is just put the paper face down and press, er, probably just one button.
    Strizzt | 14/11/05 08:03 PM

  4. i wouldn’t hold my breath if i were you. it’s taken him this long to get two.
    remember, he’ll be making other albums meanwhile as well.
    soporific | 15/11/05 10:03 AM

  5. Soporific – Yeah. Which of his albums strike your fancy the most?
    Strizzt | 15/11/05 07:37 PM

  6. that’s a bloody difficult question.
    either swans or illinoise, i suppose.
    soporific | 16/11/05 12:27 PM

About the odd pilot.
Guess who?Female, Malaysia. See who is the odd pilot. Use the backtracker.

Twitter @rhymeglass.View Twitter feed here. Categories.
Blogger Archives
Nanowrimo 2005
Flickr @rayglass.

All content, photographs, and design © Strizzt, 2001-2015 (unless stated otherwise). This website is powered by Textpattern, and is best viewed on a screen resolution of 1024x768 pixels.

home  |  the odd pilot  |  backtracker  |  rss  |  atom  |   online   |