Rantglass - because that's how things are.

More money spending.. for me.

More money spending.. for me. Again. :/

Perhaps it’s quite a bad idea for me to be studying in a design course. I’ve been told a few times that this field requires a lot of effort.. and the magic word, money. Having bought an SLR camera a few weeks ago, I was told that we might have to invest in a video camera for the third trimester – and that’s like, nearly six months later. Maybe I’ll have to don a serious expression and try to take part in Who Wants to be a Millionaire. Or take a few months off and try to qualify for Survivor V – wherever that may be – Antartica? Or perhaps try to get hold of every contest or competition in sight and try to win a few cool thousand bucks at least – eventhough I don’t usually win anything?

I always lament on how I am always using my parents’ money for the sake of me, my education, my needs. But I never do anything to help relieve them of their burden, except feeling guilty and helpless about the whole issue, and trying to ponder how to make money. Sometimes I wonder if am I stingy and money-minded, since I’m so calculative about stuff like this. I rarely feel like this when I was back in school – and we didn’t really need to pay for stuff amounting to thousands – maybe it was because I studied in a government school. Now that I’m in a private university, it seems that everything requires big bucks, and I have come to a rather dark realisation that it will be truly impossible to repay the money my parents have spent on me.

This came about because I had to get perhaps, a new PC. My computer has a faulty sound card and CD-ROM drive, and I have been bearing with it for the past few months. Then I asked my brother about the requirements for a 3D software (which I will be learning this trimester) and he mentioned that my PC simply isn’t good enough for 3D rendering – in terms of its graphics ability and power. I think my PC is about five years old now.. and it’s powered by a Pentium 2 processor and 96 RAM. I had been thinking of getting a CD burner and maybe a smaller casing for my CPU (yes, it’s bigger than normal and my friends always invent stories – if it’s big, it must be powerful – like, yeah, right..) – but now I’ll have to change so many other things to it…..

I asked my mother’s opinion today on the computer upgrade and she said that I might as well get a whole new PC. Of course, normal people would brighten at the prospect of getting a new PC – unlike me, writing about spending too much of my parents’ money and telling it to the whole world, publishing it on my website.

I am seriously thinking of getting a job. In fact, I’ve been thinking about it since last year. But I’ve done nothing so far. Again, it’s an ‘all think, no action’ kind of situation. I wish I have the initiative and determination to actually go out and do it. But what will happen if I manage to find work, then having to face the horrible truth of my deteriorating grades?

Did I mention that I’ll have to pay RM215 to renew my insurance as well?

How will this world be like, if there isn’t something called money?

Details of this entry.Saturday, May 18, 2002, filed under Blogger Archives.
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