Right. I am back..
Right. I am back.. for the moment, that is. :)
I’ve been thinking of biting into ice creams for the heck of it. Ditto with ice cubes.. brrr. Whenever I do that, I get a shudder up my spine, a tingly sensation through my body. I am sort of reminiscing the strawberry Cornetto I had the other day.. It seems that I cannot bite into something cold – using my front teeth, that is. I have seen other people biting into their ice creams, along with the crispy cone, but either they are immune to it, or they like the cold, prickling feeling. Maybe it is just because I have sensitive teeth. Does that happen to everybody else too? It might help a tad bit, of course, when it’s a hot day. I thought it was just some experiment on myself I started yesterday, but I have been unnecessarily thinking about it a lot of times today – I fear that later, it will become an odd habit of mine. I would not want to freak some innocent people out, who will think that I start shivering all of a sudden during a particular moment, and for no particular reason at all.
My housemate told me that while she woke up from a nap earlier this afternoon, she heard my roommate having a brief conversation with another housemate. She had overheard their small talk, in which my roommate declared that I had become rather uh.. fierce lately. I know I have been rather irritable and easily frustrated lately. It has become quite apparent, from my snappish replies to everyone, dark gloomy look on my face, and those depressing, suicidal entries here. Venting the anger out to my unfortunate buddies. Not responding to unnecessary questions (my roommate has been bugging me, throwing a million questions and pushing me for details about an event due to happen next week, and I kept thinking that she could be such a big busybody at times..). Seeking solace behind a computer screen, with headphones close to my ears.
I have a strong suspicion as to what had caused this, but I am still not sure if is it really it. And even if I do, I am not sure if I could solve the problem. It seems that it has been tormenting me days and days ever since I got involved in it. But getting out of it is no simple solution. It is not as easy as saying “You know what, I’ve enough of this shit, and I don’t care if you’ll all drown without me!” or “That’s it.. I quit! I’m going home..!” and stomping off, never to turn back, never to look back again.
If only walking away from problems is that easy. And doing an entry between ice creams and angst sounds a bit weird. That is like saying that love and hate collide.