Rantglass - because that's how things are.


What the hell is your problem?

What the hell is your problem?
.. I don’t know.

Thought I had resolutely decided to take part in the trip up to Genting Highlands tomorrow – but my mother’s words has been droning into me. She had asked: “We’re spending two nights up at Genting. What will you be doing there?”. The picture that came to my mind first was a vision of me lying on the bed with a bored expression, staring dully at the television – which was bound to have bad reception (not to mention equally bad programmes) at such high places. Either that, or I would be warmly covered in the blankets, intently reading through the final few pages of Robin Hobb’s Assassin’s Quest, or reaching out to flip the few pages of a certain magazine I bought today solely to occupy myself in the hotel room, with Martin, Berryman, Buckland and Champion gracing its covers. All this would happen at night, while my parents venture out to try their luck at the casino. Daytime would only be a tad bit better – endless strolls up and down the area, sipping coffee at Starbucks’, indulging ourselves in another round of ice cream at Swensen’s.

On the other hand, if I am to stay home, there is always the computer and its seemingly many uses, more books to read, and the television to keep me company. And the movies. I cannot believe I am actually contemplating on watching the much talked about Cantonese flick, So Close. Ah, but it is an action movie.. hm.

I am so annoyed with myself. I am always the indecisive, fickle one. Most of the time I run into troubles trying to come to a definite and final answer. A bad habit, one that I would prefer to get rid of – unfortunately, it seems to be what makes me. To have it tossed away would be to throw away a significant part of myself. That is why I can never be relied upon to make decisions. Not even a simple one as going for a brief vacation at the highlands.

Okay, I think I am not going. But am I really?

Actually, I should not be making such a big thing out of it. Still reprimanding myself silently, for making an issue out of that ‘girl in the picture’ a few days ago. Looking back, I found that a bit too personal to be shared here. Do not know why I did it. Do not ask that of me, either.

Yeah, I took a picture of that picture yesterday.

Details of this entry.Monday, September 09, 2002, filed under Blogger Archives.
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