Rantglass - because that's how things are.


She, RM, and I - the three of us...

She, RM, and I – the three of us – had got into She’s car and drove to take back and see our coursework marks in front of a lecturer’s room. RM and I were still searching furiously for friends’ marked assignments and test papers in a box located outside the lecturer’s room, while She lingered around impatiently.

She: I want to go and withdraw my money from the ATM. Do you want to come along?
RM: No. Go first, then. We’ll wait for you downstairs.
She: What are you guys looking for? Why are you looking at other people’s marks? Can’t we go now?
Me: Don’t be so selfish; we don’t have time to bother looking through these stack of papers for people’s marks. We are helping our friends to take and pass them their papers. If you want to go, then go first. We’ll wait for you at your car.
She: You are the one who is selfish, because you just want to sit in my car.

Dark clouds seemed to have descended upon us – She walked away while RM and I continued to search for one missing paper belonging to a friend’s

I do not know how did She jumped into such conclusions. How did something as harmless as helping to take our friends’ papers would get into the subject of taking advantage of She and her car? What else have I done that she was not happy with, and has been keeping in her heart all this while?

Well, damn it. Damn it all. RM and I have discussed and we decided to pretend that the conversation did not happen. RM thought that She was pissed off just because we did not accompany She to the ATM, but I do not think so. We did not expect those words to come out of She’s mouth. She has ever been so polite, innocent, and timid – but what she just did seems to have changed it all. But it is not easy to forget and just let it go when you were thrown with a false accusation. What makes it all more painful is why would she ever thought of saying such a thing to her friends. Perhaps I have brought it upon myself, since I was the one who suggested we drove over in the first place – but I had a valid reason to it, and She had agreed to it. So why throw those words to me then? I have in no way taken our friendship for granted. I thought she knew it all along that I would not do that.

So fine. I will not set my foot into her car again.

It hurts.

On air now: Wash, Lifehouse (Stanley Climbfall, 2002)

Details of this entry.Thursday, November 14, 2002, filed under Blogger Archives.
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