Rantglass - because that's how things are.

Enough, is enough.

Enough, is enough.

Do you gladly go to the aid of your friend immediately, without thinking twice? Because he or she is heck, your friend?

I am not sure if is there any rule made, which stated that friends must help each other. But then again, rules are made by humans. Anyhow, I have this odd and stubborn principle of not asking for help from anyone unless desperately needed, unless there is absolutely no other way to solve a problem. Therefore, I possess this negative thinking in return, which, I suppose, might just bring me down one day – that one should try hard enough before asking me for assistance.

Obviously, friends should extend help to each other when in need. I mean, yes, I can still put up with that. But there is a limit. I get a little worked up when told to do three different things, all instructed within a mere ten seconds. And what makes my blood boil is when the person who is supposedly in need of help gives a lame reason for not doing the things by themselves – “I’m lazy lah.”

That was exactly what happened to me today. She asked if I could accompany her to the printing room, to which I reluctantly agreed – I was expecting my father to fetch me home within the hour, and I never liked to keep him waiting. Together, we walked to the printing room – until she realised that she did not bring any papers with her to be printed. I gave her five pieces of white A4, although it was still not enough – and she decided to buy a few more papers from the library (she was lazy to walk back to the apartment to get her own papers). Before she left, she asked me to wait – changed her mind – no, help her print her assignments with my papers first, and look after her bag (she was not lugging ten heavy bricks in it, why could not she bring it along with her? Argh!).

Now, I am the sort of person who is afraid to complete assignments for others. Although this mere printing could be an easy task, what happens if I somehow messed up, the whole ten or twenty graphic files were unintentionally modified or deleted; the printing output was not of satisfactory? Not to mention that a fee is to be paid for printing? Am I supposed to fork out my own money should something went wrong, and compensate for the faulty printouts? It could be highly improbable that things might go wrong, but there is still that 0.1% – what if it did? And I have had enough of ‘coincidental’ accidents which kept sticking to me like plague, like bees drawn to honey.

Anyhow, I said no a bit too harsh, although she pleaded with me. I was in a hurry to get back, but she did not have any further appointments; and had the whole day to herself. When I said I wanted to leave, she would not let me go, and kept saying “no” to my departure. Excuse me, but I really need to get going, and I shall go wherever I want, thank you. In the end, I left anyway – but not without taking along her paper sketches which she requested to get it binded – for her.

I seem to be her personal walking encyclopedia and dictionary as well – almost every day, the same person would ask me to explain, and tell the meaning of a word – although she was just positioned in front of the computer. I would ask her to check it out at the good ol’ dictionary.com, but – “Haaa.. seach for it in the website? Lazy lah..” and my irritation towards her will then hit a warning point.

In this case, you might feel that I am selfish in giving out knowledge. Again, it comes back to that intractable principle of mine. Be independent, and do what is possible to solve the problem by yourself – because I do not believe in going around and bugging people for help unless really necessary.

Sometimes I feel as if I have been taken for granted. It is as if I give out more than I receive – and honestly, I do not expect anything in return – but when it goes on for a period of time, you wonder why you even bother. I am aware that writing this might have put me (and my friend, I guess) in a bad light. But really, I have no patience for people who relies on others all the time. However, she is still a friend to me. Going all around looking for people for help is just some of her weak points. Other than that, she is fine.

I know, it is that damn principle of mine. I cannot get rid of it though because it completes me. The only thing I can do is remind myself, that everyone else is not me – and that I should not expect them to act the way I want them to be – because in return, I am not what others expect me to be.

On air now: Airbag, Radiohead (OK Computer)

Details of this entry.Thursday, January 23, 2003, filed under Blogger Archives.
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