Rantglass - because that's how things are.

Hey now, don't let it come between us.

Hey now, don’t let it come between us.

There are already loads of final and heavy assignments coming my way. I must have reiterated this since a few weeks ago, and oddly enough, the workload does not seem to gradually diminish. Rather, it keeps piling up – partly due to procrastination and laziness, I suppose. However, there is one final assignment that stands out particularly, for it involves working in a team of two, and of all things! – photography grits teeth. Time to dig out the camera out of the deepest corners of the closet. Happenings during the past 48 hours:

- hiked up and down Taman Pertanian, a small national park in Shah Alam. Managed to get a few pictures before being overrun by a large group of noisy but enthusiastic school kids, with their teachers doubling up as guardians, who barked orders and instructions to them every now and then.
- braved through the sun and rain, fierce monkeys, and a couple of biting insects.
- woke up early the next morning to pay a visit to a fishing village in Kuala Selangor. Got there late enough to miss out on some could-have-been good pictures.
- a roll of professional slides (costing RM24.50 each) was messed up. Had to settle for a lower quality one instead.
- after two days of massive exercise (walking and hiking, that is) and returning home with a throbbing head and a bad backache, I slept for eleven hour straight yesterday night.

Also, a friend threw me an important piece of information at the last minute, making me feel betrayed. Perhaps I am just being sensitive. But I have never appreciate stuffing vital details into my mind at the eleventh hour. It just leaves my head reeling around in sudden confusion while I try my best to digest and put the information to good use. A panicky me jumped into the crowd and tried to get onto a bus (no, Malaysians do not queue for anything). Ended up standing in the bus for the whole of the journey, which took up to forty-five minutes. Did not appreciate the lame jokes shared by a group of loud Malay youths at the back of the bus. In short, although I may have exaggerate – I felt traumatised by the whole thing.

How could she not have told me earlier? I had asked her so many times for the right bus to get back to the city. Why did she have to tell me that I am to get on that bus, and ONLY that particular bus, just before I got off her car? Did she want me to get lost in purpose and left wandering at a spooky cemetary a hundred kilometres away from home? Was she not paying attention to my questions earlier? You may laugh at me for ranting at such trivial issues. The fact remains that she did not inform me of the correct bus to take back to the city, even after I had made inquiries to her to gain confirmation. After all, I am still new to the area – as compared to her, who had lived there for the past twenty years. There would have been many chances for her to tell me. However, she chose not to. And that, I do not understand.

Perhaps she did not mean it. Perhaps it is just another communication glitch. I really hoped so. But it is not easy, not after she had told me a big lie almost six months ago, which landed me in embarassment. I can feel the initial doubts and suspicion, which had been gradually erased, coming full force back to me again. I was angry for a while, but now I feel disappointed at the fact over the fact that she was my friend.

She was not the first one to ‘betray’ me, but I have a feeling neither would she be the last. I guess I really do not know how to get along well with my friends after all.

Details of this entry.Monday, March 10, 2003, filed under Blogger Archives.
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