Rantglass - because that's how things are.


No, no, I'm not here.

No, no, I’m not here.

The customary speech of how he hoped we will apply our knowledge in our future works, and his apologies for having been harsh or caused us sleepless nights because of the artwork rejections. Lecturer A was in such a good mood today, being so easy and lenient on our final artwork (re)submission. However, one thing did ring true – we did experience some changes and improvements because of his ‘active’ participation in assessing our work before passing it up.

During my foundation year, I did not give a damn to any small black spot visible on my artwork. Or how my drawings were not nicely pasted onto the black mounting board, making it look senget and slanted. I would just join the queue, mingle with the others, and hand the work to the timid female lecturer upfront, what with my nonchalant and cincai attitude. I would often cried out exasperatedly, “It’s good enough!” when my meticulous roommate would properly adjust her artwork and clean every single dirt off it. Although it is not visible to the naked eye.

Now, I am the one who would often cried out, “My gawd, look at that!” when the tracing paper which was supposed to cover and protect the artwork somehow folded itself, producing a deep, ugly line. Stared at the work dejectedly because the single black spot I tried to get rid of, was still stubbornly stuck onto it. Or wallowed in self-pity at the thought of having the artwork thrown out of the window courtesy of Lecturer A, leaving many gaping at its wake.

Well, it has made me feel more appreciative of the hard work and efforts I have put towards a given assignment. Well, that is it. Goodbye to my first-year.

I am still amazed at the fact that my first-year studies has been nearly done and over with. Well, after tomorrow and Saturday’s tests, that is. Well, actually, I tend to marvel at anything time-related. It has been almost three years since I left high school, and my ex-classmates. Or how I am rapidly approaching my twenty years of existence on Earth.

Sometimes I feel so old, I wonder if I would still live until the day I reach thirty, given the troubled world we live in. I wondered too, at what would I have been in my past life.

And I cannot stay focused on studying for my exams. I think I spent a total of two hours just reading the notes and trying to absorb them into my drain, as opposed to the other ten hours spent idling around, using the computer, or just uh.. lying in bed, wondering at nothings (and sometimes falling asleep for five minutes or so, in the process).

It is true. I lack self discipline.

On air now: The Whole Year Inn, Maharajah Commission

Details of this entry.Wednesday, April 02, 2003, filed under Blogger Archives.
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