Rantglass - because that's how things are.


It ends. Tonight.

It ends. Tonight.

I am feeling euphoric tonight. Sometimes there is no need for a reason for that. You would feel the surge of adrenaline in your veins, desiring to jump right up and scream your head off. However, you would need to do a reality check and heave a long sigh, albeit having feeling the ecstasy diminish for just a bit. Listening to the right music, reading the right words, playing the right games, watching the right movie trailers. In short, absolute bliss, if only for a while.

Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony.

Have you ever wondered how would you be ten years down the road? Can you actually see where, who, and how would you be by then – balancing a load of thick medical textbooks; tickling your cute twin toddlers’ feet; debating heatedly in a council; or just plain staring at the wall uninterestedly and watching the days go by? I do not know which direction I am heading to, and it gets a tad bit worrying. I would then start having morbid and gloomy thoughts, as usual.

Because I don’t like the idea that I’m not in control of my life.

Of course, it will have to depend on whether you would meekly comply and follow whatever plans that may have been laid down for you. If you choose to believe in it, that is. You may say carpe diem and attempt an out of the ordinary, but would that be truly of your own doing, or has that been planned or prophetized to be so, too?

On another note, it seemed to me that people have been throwing me odd looks this morning while I walked to class for my examinations, which I attribute to the state of my dishevelled hair. It has been sticking out at odd places, and irritatingly tickling my neck lately, suggesting that it is high time for a haircut. I am also aware that I have not been posting here for seven days, due to a little unimportant ‘experiment’ I conducted. It serves to do one thing: reminding me how life was before Rantglass. I have seen blogs and journals come and go, some appearing with a blast out of nowhere; others fading fast into oblivion. I am not sure how long will I continue this. There was a time when I was certain that it will continue as long as I live – but I am beginning to have second thoughts about it. Heck, I wonder about a lot of things, and I wonder if I should begin classifying it as a bad habit of mine.

Actually, I am also aware that I should be hitting the notes and studying for my last test for the trimester this Thursday. But what the heck. I think it is quite funny that I still remember lyrics in its entirety, to songs more than half a decade ago.

On air now: Jumper, Third Eye Blind

Details of this entry.Tuesday, August 26, 2003, filed under Blogger Archives.
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