Rantglass - because that's how things are.


When the world comes crumbling down.

When the world comes crumbling down.

I really thought I had lost her. Thinking about her hurt a lot. The jingling sound of the two bells on her purple collar, signaling her presence. The gentle swish of her long, bushy tail against my skin. The soft purring she exudes when she is content and pleased.

I ended up bawling like a baby for the day.

Last night, she had came home salivating heavily, and I had wanted to have her examined by the veterinarian today. We called for her for the whole of the morning, but she did not come. The ultimate came when even my mother admitted that I should begin preparing for the worst. A brief questioning with the neighbour’s maid led to more bad news. My cat was seen recently playing with their puppy. I was not aware of that, but we were also told that the puppy’s sibling had been dog-napped a few days ago. To make things worse, a box we put outside the gate to be taken by the rubbish collectors, was missing. It was easy to jump to conclusions at this point. Probably the thieves decided to take along a mixed Persian cat as well, had stuffed her into the box, taking her miles and miles away from me.

Thus I succumbed to horrible visions of my cat locked in a cold, dark, cage, with a smelly, rotten fish on a dirty dish. Naughty kids tossing stones at her, treating their new pet badly. Being paraded and put up for sale in a pet shop, to curious eyes and inquisitive minds. Or that she was grievously wounded or weak from her unexplained salivating.

After about fourteen hours since I last saw her, I heard my mother exclaiming that she was back. Upon seeing my lost cat again, I found myself swaying for a second instead. If it were possible, I thought I was going to faint from relief. I managed to mumble an excuse that I probably did not get enough sleep, to dismiss the worried look plastered on my mother’s face. We think she must have been ill and slept like a log elsewhere – because she has never gone missing before.

We promptly whisked her to the veterinarian’s. She was proclaimed fine after having a blood test on her, but they could not explain why was she still salivating. And so, she has to remain overnight in the clinic for observation. I sure hope she gets well soon, to have her in my arms again.

I was so afraid of losing her. I have never cried so hard, so long, before. Gloomy thoughts dominated my mind for the day, and I was consciously aware of every breathe I take, hugging myself several times today. There was a dreadful emptiness in my heart, that I was certain would not heal. My God, the pain! I tossed and turned in bed this afternoon, my thoughts constantly of her. I wanted to drift off to sleep, hoping to see her in my dreams, hoping she would be able to tell me something about her disappearance. I wanted to quest out to her, to know what she was thinking, and if she was fine. Attempts were futile because to do that would be impossible. I was not born with any gift to do so, and I wished I was. I wished there was something I could do, to have her return to me.

Before anyone dares to launch into a “But she is just a cat!” lecture, I will have you know that she has been so much more than that to me. She is a friend I never had, one who listens to you quietly, offering only comforting purrs in return. She has been with us for a decade now, and I intend to let her continue doing so. She is a part of the family, but most importantly, she has become a part of me.

And now, I live again.

Details of this entry.Sunday, September 28, 2003, filed under Blogger Archives.
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