Let the grumbling begin.
Let the grumbling begin.
Life has not exactly been a bed of roses, and I do not understand why have I always expected it to be otherwise – not in an optimistic sort of way, but more like thinking that things will always fall neatly into place and onto solid ground, instead of breaking into bits and pieces that will eventually be let loose separately in the wind, never to be united together again. Just when you think things will go according to plan, something comes up, and things go all awry.
I think I have hit an all-time low during this supposed ‘holiday season’. I have nothing to look forward to, but that may also be because – yes, I am a pessimist.
The past week has not been a good one. I made a bad decision. How dire the results may turn out, of course remains unseen and unknown. What I do know, is that I will face difficulties in trying to make the best out of it. There is no one else to put the blame on, but myself. I made the decision, and it is only appropriate that I should bear the consequences. Truly, having the ability to choose does produce anguish and anxiety. What do you say to joining a bunch of unknowns to work on two projects together? I wish that the term ‘group assignment’ would be abolished one day. No doubt, people would go, “Hey, make the best out of it – you get to know more people, make new friends, blah blah blah…” But really, I do not want all that.
Then I realised that a choice I made early this year has also taken a turn for the negative as well. That makes two bad decisions in one week – as though I have not got enough on my plate already.
I thought I could be home for Christmas by Wednesday, but I was struck with another bad news – I can only be home on the day after Christmas, no thanks to a last-minute postponement to the course schedule. What am I going to do out here in the desert during a public holiday? Thank goodness I do not technically celebrate Christmas, but that is besides the point. There is no festive spirit within me anymore.
I had assume that the trimester is going to go by oh so painfully slow. Apparently I am going to have a hard time getting through this week alone, too.
I always need a reality check. However, I wonder if I should start believing in miracles. Do you? Everytime I think about it, I am reminded of Raistlin Majere’s words: hope is the denial of reality.
On another note – heck: Matrix Revolutions did not even make it into the nominees list for best visual effects in the upcoming Academy Awards scheduled for February 29th, 2004. The seven movies that will be considered for Achievement in Visual Effects are: The Hulk, The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World, Peter Pan, Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, and X-2.