Rantglass - because that's how things are.


Walking in the dark.

Walking in the dark.

I have been swamped with work lately, and it matters not how much effort I put into it, since the workpile keeps adding up, seemingly never to diminish. Also, I thought I should drop at least a few words here, lest anyone begins to think that the fried ants (refer: previous entry) had done something sinister to me.

I am also a bit disappointed over where things seem to be heading. I feel that I have given out too much, but received too little in return. Not that I am expecting anything in return for the good deeds I do, but I do not want to be looked upon as a saviour everytime things go wrong. The one everyone goes running to for help. Do not get me wrong – I do not mind helping others – but I am beginning to feel used, after being approached by the same person for many times.

The simple words of ‘thank you’ seem to be underrated and mean no more than useless whispers in the wind, bearing no sincerity, and plays like a broken record over and over again. Of course, it is the only sensible thing to do – to say a word of thanks to someone who gives you a helping hand. But I cannot seem to detect the appreciation and genuineness in it anymore.

I do not want to be your human encyclopedia, providing you with answers however trivial they may be. I do not want to be your walking dictionary, correcting your grammatical mistakes when I can do no better. I do not want to be your personal secretary, writing proposals and giving ideas for your own project. Credit is not given where appropriate.

I am not fighting to get back what I have given away; but I am tired of being relied upon.

All the promises you made, seemed to have been put aside or forgotten. But only time will tell, to prove if are you indeed, a good and trustworthy friend – or simply an apathetic and clever opportunist.

There, I have said it. Funny, it does not make me feel any better. Now, should we blame it on the weather?

Details of this entry.Tuesday, January 13, 2004, filed under Blogger Archives.
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