“Do you need my help?”
“No, I don’t need your help.”
Actually, I was terribly disappointed. Saying no is already bad enough. I wondered what made me agreed to help her out when she came to me a few months ago with the proposal, which sounded like it would benefit us both – oh yeah – I distinctly heard her saying that it would guarantee me on-campus accomodation. I agreed, and for a while I was doing what was required – then, the work that was given to me turned to be of other purposes, i.e. helping her with her personal projects. Then it sort of disappeared altogether. Today, I had to turn down that ‘offer’ of hers regarding my troubles in securing on-campus accomodation for the next academic year, because I could not bring myself to trust her anymore; to further let my hopes fly too high, only to come crashing down later. I have enough on my plate already.
If she was uncertain about the facts, she should not have made that empty promise back then. People who do that, will no doubt paint a bad impression of themselves. I am beginning to see her in another light. I said previously; time will tell. It has, now. Perhaps I should keep a fair distance away from her.
I think I am too innocent and gullible. I have been reading some articles and hints on preparing for job interviews, and one made me ponder on my naivety. Of course, it certainly helps if you have friends in higher places. Pull some strings, and get what you want: in this case, get a friend to fix you up for an interview in his or her company. Could you imagine meeting up with a cousin that you have not met for a long time, is older than you by probably thirty years, and asking him for a job at his well-regarded company – then, well, to crudely put it – finding no other use for him later?
I would not proudly describe myself as an independent individual; still, I somehow prefer to do things my own way. I would like to achieve a sense of self-satisfaction and bask in the glory of my own work, produced by no one else but only me. I have always this perception that if you are able to do the task yourself, then do it – without asking for help. In a way, it has sort of become a bad habit of mine, because therein lies a problem: I would not let anyone help me, unless it is a win-win situation for both parties. Perhaps the word ‘stubborn’ might be a better way to put it.
I am such a failure in getting good and honest friends. I ranted, still do, never ends.
In other developments, apparently two names came up for the role of Tintin: Jamie Bell (Billy Elliot) and Rupert Grint, of Harry Potter fame. I am still having a hard time envisioning them both as the globe-trotting journalist – especially Grint, because of his comedic performance in the Potter movies. So Tintin is going to have those exaggerated expressions whenever Captain Haddock launches into a temper, complete with his equally colourful language? Billions of blue blistering barnacles!