Rantglass - because that's how things are.


Bring it on.

Bring it on.

Almost at the end now, but I cannot see beyond it. Embracing this new beginning may prove a bit difficult, somehow.

Yesterday my emotions were a bit jumbled up – or should I say, it was completely the opposite of what I had expected. I was left a bit confused, but in the end, I had a bit of fun out of it – which was something I was not supposed to experience then.

Oh, the adrenaline rush I had! It was a bit exciting, nevertheless. Should I, or should I not? In fact, why not? And then I did it.

Something inside of me just seemed to have snapped, and urged me into jumping out of my seat, pushed the somewhat heavy door open, and rushed out. I took a few quick steps before looking back towards the lecture hall carefully, like a five-year-old who was afraid of being caught with two chocolate chip cookies before dinner. And I hardly felt bad about it at that very moment – until I heard the door opening again, and my friend appeared, calling me by my name. For some reason, I did not heed her, since I was doing the ‘great escape’. But it did feel good – heck, I was practically smiling sheepishly to no one in particular at that ‘achievement’ of mine, all the way back to my room.

Later, I sent an SMS to my friend, jokingly asking her if was it the lecturer who sent her after me. We were supposed to leave together, anyhow – but I had leapt into action first.

“Yes, he even jotted down your name!” She replied in her SMS.

I froze for a second. Suddenly being a rebel did not feel so good anymore. Then I was pondering of excuses to explain myself to the lecturer – and could only come up with a partly-true reason. Okay then. I gathered up my stuff and went to see the lecturer in his room, on the pretense of asking some questions regarding an assignment – to which I already knew the answer to, involuntarily bracing for the question “Why did you leave my class halfway through?”.

But it did not come. In fact, he did not even bring up the subject.

I left his room in wonderment.

My mind began working again, and I deduced something out of it all – he never knew, and that my friend had played a prank on me. And that was later verified by another SMS from that friend.

Oddly enough, I was not angry with her. I did not feel like skinning her alive, after having pulled out her fingernails one by one and basking in her horrific screams that may sound like music to me by then. I was very much baffled that I seemed to find the whole thing utterly hilarious, somehow, and was left debating for the rest of the day on why I should find it so. After all, it was not meant to be a funny matter. Or perhaps it is just me who takes things too seriously. Yep, the goody-two-shoes who rarely skips classes without any valid reason. By the way, yesterday was my first time in my three years in university that I left a class halfway through. It is not something I am proud of, although I think almost everyone in university has done it at least twice.

If you only knew what class I was attending when I left halfway through, then you just might find the whole thing just so damn ironic.

Details of this entry.Friday, March 12, 2004, filed under Blogger Archives.
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