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Missing two in a row.

Missing two in a row.

“You look… different.”
“It’s the hair.”

“What’s wrong with my hair?” I asked both of my friends, as I gave a mild quiver under their somewhat sudden scrutiny. “I know, I have not cut my hair for almost eight months now and it is sticking out in odd angles and all sorts of directions.”

Barely five minutes later, I sat down on one of the chairs in the lecture hall as another friend came up to sit beside me. “You look like a girl!” she exclaimed. I gave her a glare. “So you’re saying that I looked like a guy previously?” She replied happily: “It’s your hair! I will gladly give you a haircut!”

Then on another occasion, my father observed: “You have improved a lot. Last time you were too quiet – at least now, you do talk.” I did not know what to say. Either I am becoming talkative (which is never a good thing for me) – or that maybe, daddy’s girl is finally all grown up.

Changes to physical appearance (sort of), and personality. And I still find both of the comments funny. Change is, no doubt, inevitable – whether you like it or not, you will someday find yourself doing things you would not do previously. Get a tattoo or two and a pierced lip. Stuff away the Barbie dolls and start displaying action figures on the rack. But ultimately, will you still be you? Or have you always been you, regardless of the changes in your life?

“You aren’t the person I used to know anymore.”

On another note, I find it strange that Company X – the considerably well established company in the media industry – is offering me a lower allowance than the relatively unknown Company Y. I have not made up my mind, but chances are that I might be going for the former, lesser money or not. I am beginning to create a little mantra for myself – “Go for the name, not for the money. Go for the name, not for the money” to help me come to an agreeable decision.

Of course, it should have become rather obvious by now, that I am a money-minded and calculative person. Not because I am indulging myself in a shopping spree upon getting the money – but simply because I would like to utilise my own hard earned cash, and not having to constantly get my parents to pay for things that I desire to have.

To top it off, I sent a mail to the head of my department for advice on internship matters and now, I am convinced that it was the wrong thing to do. Sigh. (“What, these companies don’t do enough work regarding your major… go find better companies!”)

On air now: Unopened Letter to the World, The Ataris

Details of this entry.Wednesday, March 24, 2004, filed under Blogger Archives.
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