There is a storm brewing within the family now, but I hope that it will somehow bring us all closer instead. I am trying to look at the issue in another perspective – perhaps all dissatisfactions and problems will be voiced out, through this. I realised then that as soon as something goes wrong, each person will lay blame on the other and turn it into a race of some sort, in order to make known how much he or she has contributed to the family, the sacrifices made. It is all being measured and observed, thus irking me quite a bit. Why bring up all this? To paint a more angelic representation of ourselves in these times of turmoil and pain? To shift the blame toward the other party instead?
Do we really need to measure how much we have done for the family? If anything, it is incalculable. No one keeps a log on what they do and contribute to the well-being of the family, then brings it all up the minute something goes wrong.
I have been hearing much of those, these past few days. It has been quite difficult, for I am trying not to be biased. I was only an innocent bystander; yet hearing those heated words of exchanged still made me shed some tears. It is the pain of hearing your loved ones going against each other.
If we keep it all to ourselves, nothing may be done to rectify the hidden and unvoiced conflicts. How is another person to improve, if you do not help to point out his or her mistakes? However, when the hurtful words are said, fingers begin pointing; tongues begin wagging; it all comes in a rush towards you continuously, like big splashes of icy cool water, jerking you awake and aware. In fact, if something has indeed gone wrong, why not say it out earlier? Why wait until an argument happens, start gathering all the past misdoings and throw them all to the opposite party at one go?
That was what I was most unhappy about. The lack of communication within the family. We knew it; yet we did nothing to work it out. Oh, no, we just had to wait until something big happens; only then we start paying more attention to things.
After all, clear blue skies usually emerge after a gloomy thunderstorm.
And now, the damage has been done. I can only hope things will not go any worse than this.
In other developments, work in the company has been quite bearable so far. It is only Day 2 now, though – there are many days ahead of me still. Also, to drop a note that Rantglass may be going offline by the end of the month, due to some hosting difficulties. We shall see how things will turn out.