Inch by inch.
Perhaps in every person there is one – a looming wall that blocks all visions of a much-hoped-for future and happily-ever-after; a nagging afterthought that hinders the dearest of dreams and deepest of desires; or a forest of darkness that drives away even the brightest little firefly.
It need not be all that complicated – we do battle dilemmas on a fairly daily basis, after all. Like, can I not have five cubes of sugar in my coffee just this once (and for tomorrow, too) to drown out the horrors of public transportation, my diet plan be damned; or should I start saving duplicates of my work assignments into a separate flash drive as insurance, in case the hard disk drive somehow decides to call it a day?
Or we may have moved on from being mere acquaintances exchanging shy smiles in the mornings, to becoming perfect music soulmates who listen to each others’ homemade mixtapes on warm lonely nights. There could be the absolute joy of having the pitter-patter of tiny feet racing about your home, with the heartwarming prospect of possibly another in tow. You may still be nowhere close to achieving the amount of money owned by media moguls who place more importance on the crowns atop their heads than that of their hearts, but after many years you finally realised that great wealth is overrated anyway.
But what does it mean when you cannot see yourself, say, five years down the road?
Call it what you will – these lingering self doubts, half-empty glasses or dying brain cells – but they tend to draw to a complete blank right in front of you, leaving all your questions unanswered, while the clock continues to turn seconds into minutes into hours. A quick peek into the future does not a man make, but instincts and gut feelings could surely be helpful indicators of things to come – especially on days when every other force in the universe gleefully conspires against you, resulting in incessant doubt, expansion of hairlines and biting of fingernails.
Later that day, my monitor screen died abruptly. I should have known better.