One month plus already, at the workplace. Seven weeks, actually. I still harbour thoughts of walking away – I just cannot stop thinking about it. It comes to mind every single day, I wonder if I should begin treating it as an extended internship of sorts – one without a definite date of completion, unfortunately.
There are the good days where I will go, “Hmm, things are not that bad here after all.” Self-satisfaction of seeing your work getting favourable feedback from others. Being ahead of everyone else in the country when it comes to news. There will undoubtedly be a lot of things to learn, and valuable experience to gain.
Then there are the days where you wish that things could be better. Having to fulfil random requests from Mr. Intimidator, who loves barking at every single person in the workplace. Heavier responsibilities are imminent; ones that are a bit too risky for my doing. Going nowhere in the socialising department. “I want to leave. Now. Argh.”
Plus, the fact that I am currently being under-utilised makes me feel more unworthy. Maybe later, the tasks will start rolling in and I will be drowned in it anyway. But now, I sit at my desk and wait for the shorter hand of the clock to get to seven.
I still scour the recruitment pages daily. I think it has become somewhat a habit of mine. A good or a bad one, I know not which.
“There goes the weekend again…”
One thing for sure: once you have a job, the weekend seems too short. It does not seem enough. I love holidays, but what fun is there left when you might be called back to work on a public holiday – and without extra pay whatsoever?
I feel so shortchanged sometimes. Or am I just being a bit too calculative for my own good? And having everyone trample over me because I am a newbie and absolutely bully-able?
(Yes, I am so nice a person, I know no one will take me seriously if I become a boss one day. Ahem.)
In other news: being on broadband is such a breeze. Fvroooooom! That means I will be planning a massive upgrade of sorts. MovableType? Wordpress? Nucleus? Textpattern? Anyone?
Damn it, no H2G2 at thecinemanearmyhouse. Gah.
On air now: One of Those Days, Doves