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Runaway.

Absolutely gutted. Totally devastated.

I feel like I have just been hit by a meteorite, twice in the past 24 hours.

The scenes on the news channels that unveiled before my very eyes reminded me of the other major catastrophes – man-made or not – that have hit our planet in recent times. A lone car on a bridge being swallowed whole by rushing waters. Fires rage on in fury, torching up grey skies. Planes and ships clumsily collide with each other like a child’s toy collection. They play on like a never-ending nightmare; and still we continue to watch, morbidly fascinated at the sight of it all.

After a tense day of worrying, came the sad but expected news. Understandably, my favourite band has come to a decision to cancel both its tour dates in Asia in view of the disaster. I could have been one of the fans at the sold-out show in Singapore, maybe screaming along with Mr Berninger during the brilliant mash-up of “Cardinal Song”/“Available”, falling in love again with the energetic live beats to “Squalor Victoria”, and singing along unabashedly to the stripped-down, frills-free version of “Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks” that is undoubtedly made of all kinds of awesome. And promptly tearing up like a little girl at the end of the performance of a lifetime.

Sadly, that will not happen anytime soon.

So. I think I will be inconsolable for a while. I cannot explain – I had been so, so, so! looking forward to watching my favourite band play live: the impatience and excitement is a wonderful culmination after years and years of casual listening, elevation of the band to worship status because of High Violet, a fight for good seats in the house (second row is my best effort ever!), and a fretful, longest three-month wait ever to see them perform in just four days’ time – now all but blown away into mere nothingness.

But I really cannot ask for anything more. After all, I still have a sturdy roof over my head, a job that pays for my musical obsessions, and loved ones who continue to love and support me for who I am, warts and all.

And that is all that matters. Stay safe, everyone.

Note: The National’s performance at the Mosaic Music Festival 2011, on 15 March 2011, at the Esplanade Theatre, Singapore, has been cancelled. See official press release here.

Details of this entry.Saturday, March 12, 2011, filed under Personal.
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