Absolutely gutted. Totally devastated.
I feel like I have just been hit by a meteorite, twice in the past 24 hours.
The scenes on the news channels that unveiled before my very eyes reminded me of the other major catastrophes – man-made or not – that have hit our planet in recent times. A lone car on a bridge being swallowed whole by rushing waters. Fires rage on in fury, torching up grey skies. Planes and ships clumsily collide with each other like a child’s toy collection. They play on like a never-ending nightmare; and still we continue to watch, morbidly fascinated at the sight of it all.
After a tense day of worrying, came the sad but expected news. Understandably, my favourite band has come to a decision to cancel both its tour dates in Asia in view of the disaster. I could have been one of the fans at the sold-out show in Singapore, maybe screaming along with Mr Berninger during the brilliant mash-up of “Cardinal Song”/“Available”, falling in love again with the energetic live beats to “Squalor Victoria”, and singing along unabashedly to the stripped-down, frills-free version of “Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks” that is undoubtedly made of all kinds of awesome. And promptly tearing up like a little girl at the end of the performance of a lifetime.
Sadly, that will not happen anytime soon.
So. I think I will be inconsolable for a while. I cannot explain – I had been so, so, so! looking forward to watching my favourite band play live: the impatience and excitement is a wonderful culmination after years and years of casual listening, elevation of the band to worship status because of High Violet, a fight for good seats in the house (second row is my best effort ever!), and a fretful, longest three-month wait ever to see them perform in just four days’ time – now all but blown away into mere nothingness.
But I really cannot ask for anything more. After all, I still have a sturdy roof over my head, a job that pays for my musical obsessions, and loved ones who continue to love and support me for who I am, warts and all.
And that is all that matters. Stay safe, everyone.
Note: The National’s performance at the Mosaic Music Festival 2011, on 15 March 2011, at the Esplanade Theatre, Singapore, has been cancelled. See official press release here.